


Do Better

by hummingbirdbandit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Fic Jam, Humanstuck, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Tragedy, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingbirdbandit/pseuds/hummingbirdbandit
Summary: Your name is Sollux Captor, and to be perfectly frank, you have given up.





	Do Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [commaAbuser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commaAbuser/gifts).



> Inspired by the song "Do Better," by Say Anything, which I listened to on repeat in my car while crying in a Wal-Mart parking lot before coming home to write this fic. Also inspired by the Strilonde Fan Jams Discord Server Theme Sprints - how I wish this ship was within the parameters! 
> 
> Written as a fic jam in the Karkat Thirst Discord Server. Thank you all for the wonderful feedback.

Your name is Sollux Captor, and to be perfectly frank, you have given up.  

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons-- [TA]

CG: SOLLUX YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS DOWN TO THE COMMON AREA RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I AM GOING TO WRING YOUR NECK.  

TA: kk chiill out iim not botheriing wiith that hoofbea2t 2hiit

TA: iill be fiine for the exam ii dont need two lii2ten two you lecture me for another 2iix hour2

CG: NO SHIT YOU’LL BE FINE FOR THE EXAM, YOU’RE A FUCKING GENIUS.  YOU MAKE EVERYONE AROUND YOU AWARE OF THIS FACT MULTIPLE TIMES EVERY NIGHT.

CG: THIS ISN’T FOR YOU, IT’S FOR ME.  I NEED TO STRIFE TO PREPARE AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE ON THIS IMBECILE-RIDDEN ROCK THAT POSES A SERIOUS THREAT.

TA: that2 2tupiid a2k aa

TA: iim bu2y riight now

CG: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE BUSY WITH THIS TIME OF NIGHT?  YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. 

TA: ouch kk you wound me

TA: ii have you dont ii?

CG: JUST GET DOWN HERE.  I DON’T WANT TO SPEND ALL NIGHT WITH ZAHHAK SWEATING ALL OVER ME EVERY TIME I DRAW BLOOD.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

 

You sigh and drag yourself out of your bed, where you had intended to remain undisturbed for the remainder of the weekend by anything less urgent than necessary bodily functions.  If you didn't get down the common room, Karkat really will come up here and drag you out, and the last thing you need is to listen to him complain. There's no way he could make you leave without your say-so - you’re the best damn mage in this college and he knows it - but he also knows that bitching enough gives you a headache and you'd rather put up with him for a few hours than have to spend energy on a healing spell this close to exam time.

 

Exams.  The thought would make you laugh if it wasn't all so damn pointless.  It doesn’t matter how well you score or whose ass you kiss or which extra projects you extend your intellect to see to completion - you know where you were going to end up, and it sure as hell isn't teaching kids like you who thought they had life figured out or making the world a better place.  You'd come to terms with it long ago. Now if only Karkat would get the memo.

 

The hallway is full of kids - young talent, the professors would put it, but you aren’t blind to how they get younger each year - rushing to their classes.  You keep along the walls, hands in your pockets and a scowl on your face. The crowd parts for you, as it always does. No one messes with Sollux Captor. He's the best mage the academy has ever seen, they whisper as you pass.  You ignore them, and turn your eyes to the banners draped along the vaulted windows. "Support the Empire! Fulfill your purpose! Be the best you can be!" they scream in lilting fonts. The mages on them lift their hands to the sky, eyes lit with fire and ice, powering the city's magic hexagrid.  The sight makes you sick.

 

Karkat is in the common area, waiting for you.  His frown deepens as he takes you in, appraising your appearance.

 

"Would it have killed you to at least put on some decent clothes before going out in public?" he demands, taking your shoulder and holding you at arms length.  "You take no pride in yourself and your abilities. You look like a commoner." You raise an eyebrow.

 

"So what?" you lisp.  "What's it matter what I look like when I'm dropping your ass in a duel?"

Karkat just frowns at you, and you feel a pinch of disappointment when he doesn't rise to the bait.  He's always like this when he gets stressed. Your usual banter dies on his tongue that he's too busy gnawing off in concern.  You know you're feeding his worry by not putting in even a fraction of the effort he thinks this place deserves, but you just don't care.

 

"Come on.  Let's get out to the courtyard before someone else takes the practice space.  Zahhak and Leijon are finishing up here in a bit. And then after, you're going to march back to your damn room and take a shower.  You reek of sweat and grease."

 

"I can take care of myself, KK," you growl.  He rolls his eyes.

 

"Clearly," he spits, turning and heading for the doors.  Still fuming, you follow him. It's going to be nice to take the little fucker down a peg, even if you didn't want to come down in the first place.

 

The courtyard is packed with students, some watching the fight and taking notes, others having smaller strifes along the grass.  Despite your promise to not study a damn thing, you find yourself observing the two in the ring as they go at each other, snarling and roaring.

 

Zahhak is an abjuration specialist.  Built like a brick shithouse, he uses wards and misdirection to allow him to take a serious beating without feeling a thing.  This makes him a terrifying opponent to face, and better than nearly anyone. It's why he nearly always fights with Leijon - illusionist and summoner.  It's hard to hit an enemy you can't see, and distracting your opponent with half a pride of lions while you dance around and wear down their defenses is just about the only tactic that he hasn't been able to best.  Today is apparently no exception.

 

"I yield!" he shouts out, gasping for air as he throws a lioness into the crowd and falls to his knees.  Leijon flickers into view, perched lithely on his shoulders, and grins.

 

"No purroblem!" she chirps and jumps to the ground.  The lions circle around her and pop out of existence one by one as she offers Zahhak a hand.  "You did so well today, Equius! I'm so purroud of you!" You groan and avert your eyes. Their sickly sweet bullshit always turns your stomach, and you have other things to focus on.

 

Karkat pulls you into the ring before anyone can rush to take the spot, nodding at Zahhak with a strained smile.  Amused chattering picks up around the courtyard as people begin to recognize you. Wonderful. You should have left your glasses back in the room.  Maybe worn a cloak or something. You had hoped the common clothes would keep you disguised a bit longer. Well, time to put on a show.

 

You take your place across from Karkat, cracking your neck and your fingers.  The officiator - some overworked graduate student with their nose in a book - raises a flag and flicks it without even looking at you both.  Sparks flash along your body, raising your hair on end, and Karkat smiles.

 

You've been watching Karkat fight for moons, and it never fails to make you chuckle.  The boy is a conjurer - at least that's what it says on the paperwork you forged to get him into this school in the first place.  Really, he barely fits the definition of mage at all. His skills are weak, and his grasp on magic nearly nonexistent. Since being accepted, he managed to learn enough to stay enrolled, but you both know that magic wasn't what brought him here.  He came to fight.

 

A pair of sickles drop into his hands, shimmering in the afternoon sun.  Karkat always fights with commoner's tools. The first time he did it you asked him why, and he gave you an hour-long rant on practicality and accessibility of weaponry.  Whatever. If he wants to face you with some glorified farming implements, you aren’t about to stop him. You slip your hands into your pockets and raise an eyebrow, taunting him.

 

Karkat rushes you, sickles at the ready, and you smirk.  The magic crackles along your skin and you feel his presence as he cuts through the air.  You pinpoint his exact location and trajectory and take a small step to the left, avoiding him by inches as he flies into the crowd, stumbling to catch himself.

 

"Nice one, Vantas," you call, keeping your voice carefully level.  Can't let him know that you're actually enjoying yourself - the prickly little bastard might get the wrong idea.  "Now you gonna fight me or we gonna dance?"

 

The hotblooded little dude comes flying back into the ring, sickles raised for another blow, and you smile a toothy grin as you banish his weapons, hands forming sigils in your pockets.  He falls against you, now-empty fists slamming into your chest, and you take his arms like a dance partner. The crowd cheers as you swing him around the ring, holding his struggling form against you and humming a waltz loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

"Captor, would you cut this shit out and fight me!" he sputters, wrenching free from your arms.

 

"Oh, fighting?  Is that what we're doing?  I thought we were practicing for the ball!"  You wink and his clothes transform before his eyes into a bright red ballgown, complete with corset and a circlet.  Karkat turns as red as his dress as the crowd laughs.

 

You know that Karkat wants a fight - that much is clear as he conjures another pair of sickles and flies at you again.  But you spend enough time with him to know what he really needs practice in isn't fighting, it's controlling his temper.  Poking and prodding at him is the only way you know to push that, and you know that as much of a fuss as he puts up in public, he truly does appreciate it.  You'd never let him know it, but you respect him more than anyone else in this place, and you want to help him succeed. He was willing to lie to the Empire to make it this far, and you plan to make damn sure that he doesn't fail now.

 

You toy with Karkat for a bit longer, knocking him around and taking your little game as far as you can before he starts to tire out.  You stretch and let the illusion fade, freezing him in mid-stride with one hand as you yawn pointedly.

 

"Welp, I'm bored.  Night everyone," you call out, waving at the crowd and walking back towards the doors a ways before dropping your concentration and letting Karkat fall to the ground.  He yells after you, but you don't stop to let him catch up. A shower doesn't sound too bad.

 

* * *

 

Your name is Sollux Captor, and your best friend is going to kill you.

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmaggedons [TA]--

CG: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

CG: WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU TODAY?  DID YOU MISS A MEMO? ARE YOU DYING?  YOU'D BETTER BE DYING BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU WOULD BE ANYWHERE OTHER THAN SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME IN THE TOWER RIGHT NOW!

TA: fuck off kk iit doe2nt matter anyway

CG: DOESN'T MATTER?  DOESN'T MATTER?

CG: YOU SKIPPED YOUR FUCKING EXAMS AND YOU THINK IT DOESN'T MATTER?

CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, ARE YOU IN YOUR ROOM?

TA: leave me alone kk iim 2eriou2

TA: youll 2ee me tomorrow at lunch ii dont want two run iinto any profe22or2 and have them drag me iinto the damn exam hall

TA: iim perfectly happy 2hiirkiing my re2pon2iibiiliitiies

CG: FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT.  WE'RE GOING TO TALK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

CG: DON'T MAKE ME GET ARADIA TO TRACK YOU DOWN.  I'LL DO IT.

TA: you wouldnt dare briing aa iinto thi2

CG: TRY ME.

TA: ...

TA: iim iin the ob2ervatory alriight jeez

TA: dont come here

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

TA: fuck you no

 

Karkat storms into the otherwise deserted observatory and looks around.  You watch him look for you as you float near the ceiling, amusement tinging your smile.  He never does think to look up.

 

"Hey, KK," you call, floating down a bit so he doesn't have to crane his neck so hard to see you.  Aren't you considerate. He glowers at you, and even through his anger you can taste his concern. It's rancid in your mouth.  You don't need his pity. You thought he was here to yell at you, not look at you like you've... disappointed him.

 

"Sollux, what the taint-flipping fuck do you think you're doing up here?" he demands.

 

"Flying," you poke back.  He growls.

 

"That's  _ not _ what I mean and you know it.  Where were you? Why did you skip your exams?  They're going to throw you out, and you're going to be back to the streets and I'm going to be stuck here with only Zahhak for company, and the boredom alone will kill me and you'll be responsible for my death.  What the hell, Sollux?"

 

The bullshit flying from his mouth would be funny if he wasn't so wrong.  You place your feet on the ground and hop up on a nearby table, knocking a stack of books to the floor with a raucous thud.  "They're not going to kick me out, KK. I could never go to another fucking class and they wouldn't kick me out."

 

Karkat's expression darkens.  "What the fuck are you talking about?"  You sigh. Here comes the headache.

 

"You just don't seem to get it, do you, KK?  It doesn't matter what I do. Pass, fail, it doesn't matter.  They don't care what my grades are like. They don't care how much work I do.  At the end of the day, the reward is the same. I'm not going to keep fighting to do well like it's going to mean anything."  Recognition flashes in Karkat's eyes.

 

"Sollux, you don't have to agree.  You don't have to do it. You're a fucking genius.  You're the smartest asshole I've ever met, and that's a big deal.  You could be anything." You laugh. It hurts your chest.

 

"KK, you and I both know it doesn't matter how fucking smart I am!  Any chance I had at actually using that got shot in the fucking face when this shit started."  You eyes glow - one red, one blue. "There's only one fate for people like me. A fucking human battery.  If I tell them no, then the palace just conscripts me and takes away any choice I could have had. My options are take the job or become a fugitive, and I'm not stupid enough to think that I could avoid them for long.  I'm too strong for them to let me choose. I could power the palace for years by myself. And that's why I know there's no  _ point _ .  It doesn't matter what I do.  I just want to enjoy the time I have left while I can still make decisions - starting with the decision to not take that fucking pointless exam!"  Your fingers spark in anger and you fight to control it. You don't want to hurt Karkat. He makes you angry but he's still your best friend.

 

"Sollux, you don't know any of that is true.  You don't know that they prize your power over your intellect.  Hell, none of our friends do. And frankly, I'm tired of watching you do this to yourself."  His eyes are hard, stabbing you in the chest. You didn't expect him to come up here and make you give a shit and it's messing with your head.  "You're better than this. You're better than just a power source for the crown! You're worth more as a person than you are as a piece of machinery, and I can't believe that you don't see that!  You used to bitch all the time about the Empire indoctrinating young mages to think that it was okay for them to have their life force sucked away to feed the city, and here you are giving into it!"

 

Tears prick at your eyes and you burn then away before they can drip down your face.  "Shut up, KK," you warn.

 

"No!  I'm not going to fucking shut up, you impudent little shit!" he screams, crossing the room and grabbing the front of your shirt.  You could throw him in an instant - any other person would already be out the window. You let him grip at you. "I'm not the only one who's noticed this change in you!  Aradia's worried, even Gamzee noticed something and you know he's always too high on his damn alchemy experiments to even know what day it is! God dammit, Sollux, we're supposed to be there to push each other to be the best we can be, so I'm not going to let you just give up!"

 

He takes a deep breath, and lowers his voice.  "You spend all day in your room, reading and ignoring everyone, and it's disgusting to see the man I respect acting so damn helpless.  Pull yourself the fuck together, or I'll fuck you up, I swear I will."

 

You take Karkat's hands, holding them a moment longer than absolutely necessary to detach them from your person, and climb down off the table with none of your usual grace.  Reaching into your pocket, you touch the slip of paper that had been weighing on you, heavier than you could have ever imagined. You pull it out and place it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it and patting him on the head.

 

You leave him there, clutching the royal summons in his fist.

 

* * *

 

Your name is Sollux Captor, and your time is just about up.

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

CG: YOU'RE GOING TO SEE HER TODAY.

TA: ii2 that a que2tiion kk ii cant tell

CG: CAN WE NOT FUCKING DO THIS?  THIS PRETENDING NOT TO CARE, THINKING EVERYTHING IS OKAY BULLSHIT?

CG: I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.  YOU HAVEN'T EATEN IN THREE DAYS.  I KNOW. I WAS IN YOUR ROOM. THERE'S NO FOOD THERE.

TA: iim fiine kk ii ju2t wa2nt hungry

CG: WILL YOU AT LEAST EAT SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO TRAIPSING OFF TO THE CASTLE?  PASSING OUT ON THEM SURE AS FUCK ISN'T GOING TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

TA: iim 2ure theyll 2tuff me full of food and try two 2chmooze me dont worry about iit

TA: not that iit matter2 they could ju2t order me two work for them and ii wouldnt have a choiice

CG: ...

CG: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO AGREE, ARE YOU?

CG: WE TALKED ABOUT YOU TRYING TO FIND SOME ANGLE TO USE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.  SHOW THEM HOW SMART YOU ARE. GIVE THEM PROOF THAT YOU CAN BE MUCH MORE HELPFUL AS A SCHOLAR.

TA: yeah kk ii remember

CG: THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER, SOLLUX.

\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

 

Someone knocks at your door and you look up, heart pounding.  You're not ready for this but you don't really get to put it off any longer.

 

"Who is it?"

 

"My name is Eridan Ampora, her majesty's royal adwisor.  I'm here to escort you to your audience with the princess."  The man's accent grates on your nerves instantly, and you feel your mood drop even lower.  Brilliant. Hopefully he's not talkative. Opening the door, you grimace at the man.

 

He's attractive, and that very fact pisses you off even more.  His cloak denotes him as high royalty, and the garish dyes coloring his robes must cost a small fortune.  You sigh. So much for making it out without having thousands of eyes on you. He gives you a disgusted look.

 

"That's wwhat you're wwearing?" he asks.  You shrug, attempting to look unfazed.

 

"Doesn't matter what I wear, does it?  Matters what I can do. That's all you care about."  You struggle to repress your lisp and fail. Ampora just smirks.

 

"Wery wwell," he says, and takes off at a brisk pace.  You curse and follow.

 

The ride to the palace is brief, and filled with Ampora's incessant yammering.  He blathers on about the Empire and how proud a guttertripe like you should feel being summoned to see Her Majesty's splendor.  You get a headache and try to tune him out.

 

At least the view is nice.  You rarely get to travel, and the carriage is comfortable and relaxing.  The walk to town normally would take hours, but you make it in just a few minutes, lucky for your pounding head.  A man in blue robes helps you down from the carriage. Huh. Neat. They're treating you like a guest. Wonder how long that will last, you think.

 

You make your way down so many twisting corridors that you would have lost your bearings were you not so used to placing magical markers wherever you go.  The noise of them rings in your head as you enter the throne room and face the princess.

 

"Your Highness, I present Sollux Captor," Ampora called out, dropping into a low bow beside you.  You watch him with a raised eyebrow before turning your gaze on the woman seated on the throne. She's beautiful, with long, black hair pouring down her back and eyes that sparkle like diamonds in the light.  That has to be a glamor. She smiles at you fondly, gesturing at Ampora to dismiss him. His eyes dig holes in your back as he leaves and you allow yourself a grin. Fuck that guy.

 

"Hello, Mr. Captor!" the princess exclaims, hopping down from her seat and approaching you.  You stand your ground - you don't shy away from anyone, least of all royalty. "I'm Feferi!"

 

"Sollux, thanks.  None of that ‘mister’ shit.  I know why you brought me here, so just tell me when I start so I can go home."  Feferi looks confused. Is it your tone or your words that threw her off? She likely isn't so used to people being blunt with Her Royal Giddiness.

 

"I'm not sure what you mean, mis- Sollux," she says, her voice soothing.  You hate it. "I just called you here to give you an offer! We saw how swimmingly you're doing at the academy and think you could be a great asset to the palace.  I wanted to extend my hand and show you around, and see what you think about it all!"

 

Now you're just angry.  "Sure. See if I like it here before you make me sign my life over.  Let's get this over with so I can leave, pretend to consider it until you send your men after me, and then have to choose between being a slave or a servant.  Newsflash, hotshot - they're not any different." Feferi's face darkens, just briefly. Just long enough for you to see it, but not long enough for you to deduce what it means.  Then her smile is back, just as bright as before.

 

"Oh, come on, silly.  Let me show you what we can offer, and we can squabble about specifics later!"  She takes your arm and tugs you along, hanging on you like a lover as she leads you through the castle.

 

The castle is beautiful - you can't deny that, no matter how infuriated you are at the circumstances of your tour.  Fountains adorn the main hall, with water pouring from ducts in the ceilings and gathering in pools clear enough to drink.  Clearer than anything you've ever drank, that's for sure. Low-level aristocracy sit along the edge of the fountain, trailing their feet in the cool water.  The thought of wasting clean water like this puts a sickening knot in your stomach that grows larger with each new room, each new splendor that Feferi guides you through, her voice like bells as it echoes down corridors and fills empty rooms.

 

She doesn't talk about why she asked you here.  You don't talk at all. You answer each of her questions with a non-committal grunt until she stops asking them and instead decides to fill your silence with her own voice.  She clearly doesn't seem to mind. Hours pass in this way and like clockwork, every few rooms a servant greets you with a platter of food and drinks - just like you had expected.  You turn down the first few, but eventually your empty stomach wins out over your ethics and you accept, avoiding the alcohol and chowing down on the meats and fruits that they pawn into your little peasant hands.  It's the most delicious thing you've ever eaten and you curse yourself for your weakness as you lick sweet cherry juice from your fingertips. Feferi seems pleased.

 

You eventually make your way back to the throne room.  Ampora is there, sulking, and he greets you with a miserable glare as you enter.  You wiggle your fingers at him in greeting and grin at the scandalized look he gives you.  Pissing him off almost makes this whole trip worth it.

 

Almost.

 

"Your Highness, wwe need to discuss the matter wwe brought this peasant in for in the first place, if you're through..." Ampora drones, collecting himself.  Feferi gives him a look, an echo of the darkness you saw in her face earlier, and his eyes go stony. "Wery wwell. I wwill leawe you." He storms out, cape billowing behind him.  What an asshole.

 

You raise an eyebrow at Feferi and clear your throat.  "Alright. You've given me your tour. So fess up. Why did you call me here?  What do you want?" She smiles at you - all teeth.

 

"Well, you were right about one thing, Sollux - I want to offer you a job!  A chance to prove your worth and contribute to the Empire in the best way a mage can!"  She spreads her hands, a grand gesture that would woo a less intelligent man. You are not a less intelligent man.  She continues. "We are in need of a mage capable of helping us power the wards that protect our city from attack. You have read the papers, I'm sure."

 

You grunt.  She sighs. "Sollux, we are at risk here.  The rebels from the north, that... cult, of harlequin-worshipping fanatics, they are here, on our doorstep!  Without men like you, with your great talents, we will surely fall to them before we can formulate a new plan of attack.  And then we all perish." You harden your stare.

 

"Are you asking me to do this, or commanding me, Your Highness?"  Feferi smiles at you.

 

"Why, I don't give commands, silly goose!  My grandmother, the queen, she gives commands.  I make requests. I wouldn't ask you to do anything you did not agree to entirely."  You're shocked, and a bit confused. You hope it doesn’t show on your face.

 

"Then I can leave?  I can go back, and graduate, and do whatever the hell I want to do with my life, and you won't stop me?"

 

"You can leave.  You've entertained my audience and heard my offer - you've seen what we can give you, the luxury you would live in.  If you don't want it, I won't force it on you." You nod, and turn your back to her, heading for the door. Time to get home and figure out how to beg the academy to let you take the exams you skipped.  Feferi speaks up.

 

"Shame about that little friend of yours, though."

 

You go cold with fear and freeze on the spot.  "What little friend?" Your voice is loud in the silence of the room.

 

"Oh, what was his name?  The little conjurer. Vantas... Karkat, wasn't it?"  You growl and turn to look at her. Her face is serene, like she's overlooking a mountain range at mid-morning instead of staring into the eyes of a man who could smite her where she stands with a snap of his fingers.  "Except, he's not a conjurer is he? He's barely a mage. It would be a shame if he found out you've been forging his papers. It would be a bigger shame if the academy found out. I'm not sure he could survive peasant life, could he?  With time and the connections he's made, he could surely land a comfortable job managing Empire forces, but he'd need to graduate for that to happen. To let this knowledge about your cheating little tricks go without justice would be... treasonous."  Her voice is bright and joyful as she sips on the word. You're pretty certain your heart has stopped.

 

"I'll do anything you want.  Anything. But you don't touch him.  Not a hair on his fucking head, you hear me?  You want me to use this-" your eyes burn with rage - "for you instead of against you?  Then I want to see it in writing, with your pretty pink signature on it. He gets to graduate.  He is guaranteed a position in the Empire. And he gets to live comfortably. Anything he wants."  Your shoulders slump in defeat as reality hits you. "If I'm giving you my life, I want to make sure I'm getting his in exchange."

 

Feferi giggles, and it's a punch in the throat.  "Oh, good, I thought we could reach an understanding!  Come, I'll show you where you'll be working, and I'll have Eridan bring the paperwork.  I'll even let you write your conditions up yourself, so you can trust no one has touched them.  It's going to be so nice having you here in the castle! You're a handsome young man, much nicer than the last I had, that's for certain, and so smart!  It'll be just wonderful having someone to talk to, once you get settled!" She continues to ramble on, calling servants and leading you down winding corridors and rooms.  You don't bother to keep track of where you're going. Knowing the layout of your prison does nothing if there is no key.

 

* * *

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

CG: SOLLUX WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?  IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS. NO ONE HERE AT THE ACADEMY HAS SEEN YOU.

CG: IS SOMETHING WRONG?

CG: DID I DO SOMETHING TO UPSET YOU?  I KNOW I WAS HARSH ON YOU THESE PAST FEW WEEKS, AND I'M SORRY.  I GET SO ANGRY WHEN I'M STRESSED, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

CG: THAT... DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT.  I KNOW.

CG: PLEASE, ANSWER ME.

CG: I MISS YOU.

CG: WE ALL DO.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

 

\--apocalypseArisen [AA] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

AA: s0llux please answer me

AA: i have a very bad feeling ab0ut your silence

AA: the spirits have been restless

AA: yet they will n0t tell me what they kn0w

AA: karkat is beside himself

AA: he d0esnt sleep simply... waits

AA: ...

AA: i d0 n0t like this

\--apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

CG: I FINALLY DRAGGED THE INFORMATION OUT OF NITRAM, THE PALMROTTING LITTLE BASTARD

CG: YOU *TOOK THE JOB*??

CG: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?

CG: NO, I'M NOT GOING TO STAND FOR THIS.

CG: YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, MY...

CG: NO.  I'M COMING DOWN TO THE PALACE.  I ALREADY PAID FOR PASSAGE. I'M GOING TO COME SEE YOU AND I'M GOING TO FLAY THAT BITCH ALIVE IF SHE DOESN'T LET YOU OUT OF YOUR CONTRACT AND LET YOU COME HOME.

CG: DAMMIT SOLLUX, YOU PROMISED ME!

CG: YOU PROMISED.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]--

  
  


The commotion in the corridor is frighteningly loud.  At first, you think someone has knocked over some priceless statue or urn, from the fuss everyone is making - that is until you hear the screaming in the hall.  You'd recognize that voice anywhere.

 

The nurse strapping you into the hexagrid powerstation hesitates for a moment, looking up from the strap she just tightened.  A mix of emotions - fear, longing, and hope, coalescing into a migraine-inducing maelstrom - pounds through you. "Hurry up. I wanna get this over with."  She nods and gets back to it, tightening the other armband to support your weight in case you pass out in the process. Once you check into the system, you can't check out - the backflow of power can and will kill you.  The warnings and information has been drilled into you over the past four days. It will be months before your consciousness returns after you tap into the hexagrid - if it does at all. Lesser mages have been lost to it entirely.

 

You hear Karkat screaming on the other side of the door, pounding into it with his fists.  "CAPTOR YOU OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I CHOP OFF YOUR FUCKING LEGS AND DRAG YOU BACK HOME!  YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS! I WON'T LET YOU!" His voice is frantic, and it makes your chest hurt. You're pleased to note, at least, that he hasn't been thrown in chains, meaning Feferi kept her word.  He's untouchable. He's safe.

 

The powerstation begins to whir to life as the nurse places a pair of goggles over your eyes - they're thick but transparent, allowing you to see your surroundings through a fishbowl.  They are apparently meant to help channel your power into the system, instead of burning the room to the ground, but you know what they really are - shackles, keeping you trapped in the rig until the day when someone decides to let you out.  They never let you out.

 

"SOLLUX, PLEASE!" Karkat cries through the door.  "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS, DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE!" You feel tears welling behind your eyes and struggle to choke them down - once they're in those goggles, they're not coming out for at least a few days, and that won't be comfortable.  You have to stay strong. You have to do this, for Karkat. Even if he never understands. At least he'll be happy one day. He'll get to be better than this, than you. Than everyone.

 

The nurse flips another switch on the rig and it lets out a keening wail, a lens against the wall beginning to spin and focus on the base of your spine.  In a few moments, it's going to send a beam of pure energy right into your core, tapping into your magic signature and mixing your essence into the hexagrid, to mingle with the powers that be.  You swallow hard, your heart pounding. You'd never admit it, but you've never been so scared.

 

A loud roar echoes through the room and the door flies open on its hinges.  Standing in the doorway is Zahhak, fists bruised and panting as a guard grapples with him, trying to get the magic suppression shackles onto his wrists.  He must have busted the door down. No! You hadn't wanted any of this! You didn't think they would be stupid enough to come after you. You didn't think anyone would get hurt, dammit!

 

Karkat flies to you, sobbing as he clutches at the front of your robes.  The nurse cowers in the corner of the room, screaming, but you know it doesn't matter anymore.  Her job is done. There's no going back now. The only way to shut off the machine now is to kill the hexagrid for the palace entirely, and no one would dare.

 

"Sollux, no, no, no, please, anything but this, don't leave me like this!" Karkat cries, holding onto you desperately as the machine boots up.  "Why would you do this, just give up everything like this? Sollux, damn you, answer me!" He slams his fist into your chest and you feel the tears start to fall.  You didn't want to face him. Didn't want to see him hurting.

 

"I didn't ever want to hurt you, KK," you cry, trying to nuzzle into his hair.  The rig holds you tight. "I didn't give up anything. I did something better, okay?  You're better. You're worth it." His eyes show that he doesn't understand, but that's okay.  He doesn't have to understand.

 

"Sollux, no, I never got to tell you, I never told you how much I fucking cared!" Karkat sobs.  "I never fucking told you that I love-"

 

A cold spike shoots into your spine, sending a wave of agony, then numbness through you.  His words are silence. Everything is white.

 

 

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you've finally found a purpose.

  
  



End file.
